Here is a simple and effective tool to take your marriage to the next level. This particular tool is more about filling up your respective buckets of positive emotions rather than emptying out the buckets of negative emotions.
I see numerous men in my coaching practice who have made large amounts of money and are suffering because their home life is unhappy. What is the point? To me, true success is crushing it in the workplace and at home.
I coach men to perform at their peak from the boardroom to the bedroom. For more info, visit WebAngerManagement.com or GuideToSelf.com or email John@GuideToSelf.com.
Best regards,
Dr. John Schinnerer
My husband is addicted to being mad. He says it is his power over me. He tells, or stonewalls, I can ask a simple question and get blown away with the response. Ie: He gets home an hour late from work, no communication that he would be late. I greet hm and ask about traffic, no answer. So I ask how the guys are? He has gone out with some after work to unwind before. He yells at me” so what’s next , going to accuse me of being with another woman?!? Why don’t you just leave me alone! “. Then he huffs off slamming doors and holes up on the spate bedroom for the night. You have good advice, how can I do anything one sided?
Hi Thelma
Thank you for sharing. It sounds like a very difficult position that you are in.
It is nearly impossible to change someone else. They have to want to change. The best way I know to do this for women in such a relationship is to speak truth to power, to step into their power, to act boldly. This means telling him that the two of you will be going to a couples counselor or else. This means being willing to walk away from the relationship if he is unwilling to change. This may take some time to get behind. However, one of the major powers men have in a relationship is they are willing to vote with their feet. In other words, if they don’t like how the relationship is going, many will simply leave. You can use this same power by being willing to leave, and communicating that willingness in order to demand change. If it works, great, you two can begin to learn some new skills to create a better relationship. If it doesn’t work, he was not that into the relationship anyway. And keep in mind, that is not a reflection on you, necessarily. That is his baggage to work through. Often relationships and intimacy are highly threatening to men (as we are not socialized to be in touch with our feelings). So emotions and intimacy scare the crap out of us. This isn’t a big deal as long as your partner is willing to learn new ways of communicating.
Hope that helps!
Dr. John