How do you best deal with your anger? And what happens when that don’t work? Some of the traditional tools for processing anger include exercise or breathing deeply. These are all typical tools to deal with frustration. But what about those situations when you just can’t get a handle on it? Here are the top 3 tools to help be less angry in your relationships.
Anger is a natural, human emotion. There is nothing destructive about anger. It demands our attention when our health is in danger, when a boundary has been crossed, or when someone takes advantage of us. However, how one behaves when angry may be either destructive or constructive. Being mindful when angry does not mean the anger is ignored, suppressed or denied. Being mindful does not mean that one behaves in destructive ways. Rather, being mindful when angry means a) recognizing the anger, b) labeling it, and c) choosing the best action to take.
Recent studies show that chronic, long-term anger hurts the heart. The same is true for long-term stress. Chronic stress and anger hurt the brain, the heart and the lungs. It is critical to learn tools to handle them better.
By John Schinnerer, Ph.D. At the gym recently, I witnessed two grown men get into a physical debate over the recent election results. One man was enraged over the fact that his old friend voted for Donald Trump. The Trump supporter was, naturally, defending his position. As the anger boiled, the Clinton supporter shouted, “We are not friends […]
The current race to the White House between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump is the most rancorous and vitriolic I have witnessed. It is difficult to have a conversation with a supporter of the opposing candidate without it devolving into anger. In fact, the anger felt by some individuals is so deep and so intense […]
People sometimes feel sorry for me when I tell them I work with angry clients. They picture clients screaming and throwing things at me, attacking me, in my office. Yet, this is (usually) far from the truth. My clients are rarely angry in my office. In my office, my clients wear a mask of rationality and show a calm demeanor as no one wants to admit to having anger which is beyond their control. Interestingly, psychological research has been slow to examine anger.
So what is anger? And how is anger different from other negative emotions, such as guilt and fear? Is anger always a secondary emotion, following closely on the heels of another emotion such as sadness? Let’s take a look and see if we can answer these questions.
Dr. John Schinnerer For those of us with anxiety, the question of ‘How can I get rid of anxiety?’ is a burning one. Anxiety is debilitating, embarrassing and limiting. Of course, everyone has anxious feelings, yet some of us experience more intense anxiety than others. When anxiety is frequent, it rents a lot of room in your […]