Be vulnerable enough to share your internal world. For that is the path out of misery. Part of self-compassion is understanding that you are not alone in your struggles, in your suffering. And that shared suffering gives us relief.
Aristotle said, “Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” It fascinates me that, 2300 years later, we still wrestle with this difficulty.
Anger is a natural, human emotion. There is nothing destructive about anger. It demands our attention when our health is in danger, when a boundary has been crossed, or when someone takes advantage of us. However, how one behaves when angry may be either destructive or constructive. Being mindful when angry does not mean the anger is ignored, suppressed or denied. Being mindful does not mean that one behaves in destructive ways. Rather, being mindful when angry means a) recognizing the anger, b) labeling it, and c) choosing the best action to take.
Dr. John Schinnerer How do you get through the intense feelings, such as anger, rage and hurt, that frequently occur with separation and divorce? How do you move forward constructively? Here are the best ways to divorce with dignity while holding onto your financial savings, your cool and your calm. Understand How Anger Operates Emotions tell you whether or not […]
By John Schinnerer, Ph.D. At the gym recently, I witnessed two grown men get into a physical debate over the recent election results. One man was enraged over the fact that his old friend voted for Donald Trump. The Trump supporter was, naturally, defending his position. As the anger boiled, the Clinton supporter shouted, “We are not friends […]
People sometimes feel sorry for me when I tell them I work with angry clients. They picture clients screaming and throwing things at me, attacking me, in my office. Yet, this is (usually) far from the truth. My clients are rarely angry in my office. In my office, my clients wear a mask of rationality and show a calm demeanor as no one wants to admit to having anger which is beyond their control. Interestingly, psychological research has been slow to examine anger.
So what is anger? And how is anger different from other negative emotions, such as guilt and fear? Is anger always a secondary emotion, following closely on the heels of another emotion such as sadness? Let’s take a look and see if we can answer these questions.
By Brad J. Bushman Ph.D. When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred. — Thomas Jefferson When angry count four; when very angry, swear. — Mark Twain Anger is an emotional response to a real or imagined threat or provocation. Anger can range in intensity from mild irritation to extreme rage. Anger is […]
Dr. John Schinnerer Guide To Self Executive coach A difficult skill to master is letting go of old, stale anger. In this post, I will share with you a great tip I recently came up with to teach you to let go of anger. Old, stale anger is anger that we hold onto, often because […]
Dr. John Schinnerer Guide To Self Anger and attention are tightly woven together such as when you shuffle a deck of cards. What you pay attention to influences what you feel. How you feel influences that to which you attend. Note: When you think of anger, think of it as existing on a scale of […]
Date: June 5, 2013 Source: Public Library of Science The act of describing a feeling such as anger may have a significant impact on the body’s physiological response to the situation that elicits the emotion, according to research published June 5 in the open access journal PLOS ONE by Karim Kassam from Carnegie Mellon University and Wendy […]