Anger is common to all of us. It’s part of what makes us human. Anger is a useful, necessary ingredient in a purposeful life. However, in some of us, anger is dialed up to a high degree. When anger gets too intense, it may lead to constant irritation, feeling misunderstood, frequent arguments and even physical violence.
Aristotle said, “Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” It fascinates me that, 2300 years later, we still wrestle with this difficulty.
Anger is a natural, human emotion. There is nothing destructive about anger. It demands our attention when our health is in danger, when a boundary has been crossed, or when someone takes advantage of us. However, how one behaves when angry may be either destructive or constructive. Being mindful when angry does not mean the anger is ignored, suppressed or denied. Being mindful does not mean that one behaves in destructive ways. Rather, being mindful when angry means a) recognizing the anger, b) labeling it, and c) choosing the best action to take.
Dr. John Schinnerer How do you get through the intense feelings, such as anger, rage and hurt, that frequently occur with separation and divorce? How do you move forward constructively? Here are the best ways to divorce with dignity while holding onto your financial savings, your cool and your calm. Understand How Anger Operates Emotions tell you whether or not […]
A difficult skill to master is letting go of old, stale anger. In this article, I will share with you a great anger management tool I teach my clients to release their anger. Old, stale anger is anger that we hold onto, often because no one has taught us to do any differently. This type […]
People sometimes feel sorry for me when I tell them I work with angry clients. They picture clients screaming and throwing things at me, attacking me, in my office. Yet, this is (usually) far from the truth. My clients are rarely angry in my office. In my office, my clients wear a mask of rationality and show a calm demeanor as no one wants to admit to having anger which is beyond their control. Interestingly, psychological research has been slow to examine anger.
So what is anger? And how is anger different from other negative emotions, such as guilt and fear? Is anger always a secondary emotion, following closely on the heels of another emotion such as sadness? Let’s take a look and see if we can answer these questions.
Dr. John Schinnerer Guide To Self Anger and attention are tightly woven together such as when you shuffle a deck of cards. What you pay attention to influences what you feel. How you feel influences that to which you attend. Note: When you think of anger, think of it as existing on a scale of […]
My life is interesting. It swings between curious, frustrating, rewarding, breath-taking, exciting, challenging, and humorous. I’ve never taken the well-traveled road. As a result, my life is never dull. It’s never boring. Above all, my life is meaningful and purposeful. My goal is to teach people about their mind – how to use their mind […]